Relationships in our lives need time, attention, and ‘cultivation’ also. However, relationships are not as predictable as say, taking care of our lawn. There is no ‘one-to-one’ correspondence between the time we spend meeting the needs of a spouse or child as there is with fertilizing our front yard. When I put down a weed-killing spray in the spring (provided that I do it correctly), I can pretty much anticipate the effects that it will have on my turf barring any unforeseen weather-related issues. When I spend time discussing life-issues or engage in spiritual discussions with my children. I do not have any written guarantees what “soil of the heart” condition the seeds of my efforts are falling on. I cannot follow some simple list of directions to produce a joy-filled, Christ loving, healthy adult in the same manner that I can follow the directions on the back of a bag of Scotts Weed and Feed fertilizer.

Wow, does that thought leave me in a fatalistic despair? Am I completely helpless when it comes to the desired effects that I want to leave on the people I live with, play with, love and cry with? I don’t believe it has to. I do believe that human relationships take more than just a formula, a set amount of time, or some list of directions. Relationships take “blood, sweat, and tears” and a whole lot more. Disclaimer: I am no expert when it comes to relationships. I struggle to the same degree as most everyone else does. I am born with a depravity that causes me to seek my own welfare first, to make myself happy above all else or anyone else, and a sense of entitlement that makes it difficult to set aside my needs and desires and elevate the needs and desires of others. It is a basic fact, ‘there is none righteous, no not one…’

Ok so now that I have that mega hurdle to jump over before I can build stronger relationships with others, what can I do? I have no formula for that either, but I believe that dealing with my own sin nature first is a primary step if I am going to succeed with relationships. All relationships are secondary to the most important relationship that I need. I start life with a broken relationship with my Creator and until that relationship is restored, I will be ineffective cultivating other relationships. The Bible is very clear that fellowship (friendship) with Jesus Christ is the quintessential step. Nothing in our lives is more crucial than restoration with the Father through Christ. I cannot be the father, husband, son, friend, or partner that I was designed to be until I first am redeemed by my Designer. John 1:12, Romans 6:23, 2 Corinthians 5:17 are verses among others that map out for us the way back to Him.

Once my relationship with my heavenly Father is restored, I am now able to begin to “grind it out” with my human relationships. It is an enigma to me that something that feels so natural as friendships do, can also be so difficult to care for and maintain. I feel a burden both for myself as well as others that we live in a culture that emphasizes things over people. We strive and fight it out day by day in our jobs, our lives, and our play to achieve, acquire, and accomplish. Often there is little left over to give to those around us who need our attention and love to sustain them and keep them going. God did not create us for things, He created us for Himself and for each other. It is revealing to know that a day is coming for each of us when we will be separated from all possessions, wealth, and achievement and left only with relationships – with God and with others.

“Lord I want to take this one day I have today and put deliberate focus on each person You have placed in my life and make it a little bit better of a day for them. I desire to do this by Your grace for Your glory and for my joy!”

If this rain keeps up another day, I might get the ax and go hunting for a gopher wood tree. Anybody know where there is a good deal on tar pitch?

I think I need a break from all things sensory. Perhaps that is why my favorite time of the day is early morning. The house is quiet. The hallways are dark. Every move you make and every step you take (sorry, Sting) seems like it is at the decibel level of a jet airliner taking off. Each one of your senses is alert – well maybe after the first cup of coffee – and you are mentally ready to take on life with your full attention!

That is why my best reading always comes early in the morning. The distractions are absent. She (and we all know who she is!) chooses to do her quality reading right before going to sleep. When I try that, I end up with bruises on my face – particularly when reading hardcover books. I can barely finish a chapter before falling sleep. Not true in the early morning. I love reading early and taking those thoughts with me throughout the day. It makes for a much more comprehensive read for me too. Last Sunday afternoon, when I probably should have been napping, I tried to read a chapter in a book. Twelve pages took more than twenty minutes to read; probably because I haven’t yet perfected the art of reading through my eyelids. Not only did it take me an eternity, I could barely recall what I read. What a waste of time!

That brings me back to my original thought. The internet age is great for us as a society. It brings information to us almost instantly. But how do we manage the hordes of data that our minds are inputting all day long? Are we becoming over-stimulated by the accumulation of information? Are we developing odd anxieties that we never experienced before? Good questions – I have no answers, only opinions.

I don’t plan to take the next exit off the “information super highway”, but I might occasionally move over to one of the right lanes and slow down to the posted speed limit.

C.J. gives a brief introduction

Over the years many pastors, leaders, and authors who have influenced my life have also become my friends. I marvel at and am humbled by this fact. And while I am always eager to promote these men and draw attention to their writings and teachings, too often these friends are known primarily for their public ministry.

I know from personal experience that these men have much to teach us from their private lives. So on this blog I want to occasionally interview these men, ask them questions to draw out their personal example, and introduce you to a private side of them you possibly have not seen.

Here we go.

then poses this question to Dr. Grudem

Thanks for your time, Dr. Grudem! Please describe your morning devotions. What time do you wake up in the morning? How much time do you spend reading, meditating, praying, etc.? What are you presently reading?

I usually wake up about 6:00 a.m., but sometimes as late as 7:00 or 7:30 (if I’ve been up late the night before—I need between 7 and 8 hours of sleep or I don’t think as clearly). I get a cup of tea and one of Margaret’s excellent high-protein muffins and open my Bible.

I simply read sequentially through the Bible and then start over at the beginning (I’m currently in 1 Corinthians and Psalms, reading two portions each morning). I will read the Bible for 15 or 20 minutes, underlining some verse, or making some very brief notes. Many times I will wonder about something in the Greek or Hebrew text and check it briefly, but I don’t get involved in extensive exegesis because that is not my purpose at that time. I’m looking for God to teach me directly from his Word, with application to my life.

Usually I just “camp” on a phrase or verse, sometimes writing it out and pondering application to my own life. I also keep a blank notepad beside me because God often brings to my mind things that I need to do and I make a quick note.

Then I will usually pause for five or ten minutes just waiting in the Lord’s presence and thinking about the verse or talking to him about it. After that, I pick up a notebook with different pages for people and things that I am praying for—some pages about various things in my own life, then my wife Margaret, then our children and their families, then my parents and other members of my extended family, and then other friends and people in different organizations such as our church or Phoenix Seminary where I teach.

There’s also a section having to do with our government and concerns of our nation and world. That will take 15 or 20 minutes, and sometimes longer, so the total time may be between 30 and 60 minutes.

At the end of the time I will usually bring before the Lord my “to do” list, and pray about various items on the list, asking the Lord to help me know what to make a top priority today, and asking his blessing on the things that I plan to do. Often at the end I also have another time of maybe two or three minutes or maybe five or ten minutes just resting in the Lord’s presence and waiting on him.

I find in those times of quietness, when I’m not praying about anything in particular but simply resting in the Lord’s presence, that he will bring to mind solutions for problems, or people I need to contact, or things I need to write, or things I should not spend time doing, or any of a number of other things. I also find that over the course of the entire Bible reading and prayer time a deeper sense of peace and rest in the Lord’s presence comes on my heart.

I especially liked the insight he provided on praying over our to-do list and asking the Lord for wisdom!

Read the rest of part 1 of this interview.

Ever since Facebook dropped its student-only restriction and opened its doors in September 2007 to anyone, many student users have cried foul, saying the unrestricted access allows their parents to spy on them. Some 5,819 disgruntled high school and college-aged students have even joined a Facebook group entitled “For the love of god–don’t let parents join Facebook.”

link: WORLD Magazine | Community | Blog Archive | A parental invasion, of sorts

As the year comes near to a close, I am reflecting on the things that I am most thankful for. To use the proverbial expression, “…drinking from a firehose…” it is difficult to cull my list to just a couple of items. However, the exercise of summarizing the year to just a few bullet points helps me focus on the essence of what I learned from the past year that I can carry with me to the coming one. Here are a few simple bullet points of the things that impacted me.

• 2008 taught me that I am wholly depending on a sovereign God to provide, sustain, and use me to impact those around me.
• 2008 showed me that I am finite, mortal, and above all very dependant on Christ and the very special relationships with those He has brought into my life.
• 2008 helped me understand that resources are just resources. They are not the goal but rather means to achieve the goals in life.
• 2008 revealed to me that not all I see is real and not everything real is visible.

If you are taking a moment to scan my blog, I want to say thanks for stopping by. I truly hope that 2009 will impact you in many positive ways; even when it may not be initially evident.

Each year Christmas night finds members of my family feeling some melancholy. After weeks of anticipation, the Christmas celebrations have flashed by us and are suddenly gone. And we’re left standing, watching the Christmas taillights and music fade into the night.

But it’s possible that this moment of melancholy may be the best teaching moment of the whole season. Because as long as the beautiful gifts remain unopened around the tree and the events are still ahead of us, they can appear to be the hope we are waiting for. But when the tree is empty and events are past, we realize we are longing for a lasting hope.

Read more of this…

I have to read mostly in the early morning because by nightfall, I am too tired to keep interest in reading almost anything. What about you? How many books do you normally read at a time. What tips can you share for working your way through your list of must read books?